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Masculinity: Do Some Women’s Childhoods Set Them Up To Become Overly Masculine?

In recent years, it has been said that men have become more feminine and women have become more masculine. Naturally, this is a generalisation and doesn’t apply to every man/woman in the western world.

And when something like this is said, it could simply be an observation that someone has made, or it could be something that they lament. One way of looking how men’s and women’s behaviour has changed would be to say that it is a good thing.


The reason for this is that women have started to embrace more of their masculine nature, after having rejected this side of them for a very long time; while men have started to embrace their feminine nature, after having rejected this side of them for a long time. Due to this, it could be said that both genders are gradually becoming more balanced.

If both men and women were not made of the masculine and the feminine energy, this wouldn’t be possible. But as they are, it is perfectly normal for them to become more balanced human beings.

A Key Point

Still, this doesn’t mean that every human being on the planet is fifty percent feminine and fifty percent masculine. There are going to be both men and women who have more of one side than the other.

What this then means is that there are going to be some men out there who are more feminine than masculine and some women who are more masculine than feminine. This is just how it is and is neither good nor bad.

A Different Outlook

Another view that could be put forward is that some men have gone too far and so have some women. A man will then have embraced more of his feminine nature, but he will have lost too much of his masculine nature.

Likewise, a woman will then have embraced more of her masculine nature, but she will have lost too much of her feminine nature. It is then as if an extreme of the past has been replaced by another extreme in the present.

A Lot of Exposure

A fair amount has been said about men who are overly feminine, with the word ‘man up’ often being used and there being all kinds of books written for ‘nice guys’. A man who is easy going and doesn’t stand his ground is rarely respected by men or women.

He can be seen as someone who lacks backbone and, therefore, needs to start asserting himself. There will be a lot of the feminine energy within him, but not a lot of the masculine energy.

A Different Story

When it comes to women who are overly masculine, it is less likely that anything will be said about how they come across. In the mainstream, the focus is generally on the issues that men have.

In addition to some men being seen as too feminine, some men can also been seen as being too masculine. A man can then be seen as a problem no matter what pat of himself he embraces.

Out of Balance

A woman can then have the inclination to come across as aggressive, being completely out of touch with her more softer side, and it is unlikely that she would be told that she needs to ‘woman up’ or something similar. Still, while it can be normal for a woman to come across in this way, it is going to be the kind of behaviour that repels a lot of people.

Women who are in touch with their feminine nature will probably find her energy toxic, and men who are in touch with their masculine nature could also feel the need to keep their distance.


A man like this will realise that a woman like this is not going to complement who he is; the only thing that would happen is he would have some someone in his life who he would be in a constant battle with. As the woman has more or less rejected her feminine nature, it wouldn’t be possible for their two energies to harmonise with each other.

It would be like trying to lead someone in a dance routine, only for them to try to lead all the time; it just wouldn’t work. The woman is not going to want to surrender to a man and to allow him to lead; she will want to control the man and to direct everything.

What’s going on?

So, if a woman has pretty much lost touch with her nurturing ability, softness and supportive element, amongst other things, it is likely to show that she doesn’t feel safe enough to express these traits and to be vulnerable. The way she comes across, with her aggression and coldness, for instance, is then a way for her to protect herself.

Ultimately, in order for a woman to embrace her femininity and then to express this side of her nature, she needs to feel safe enough to do so. The question is: why wouldn’t a woman feel safe enough to express this side of her nature?

Way Back

What this may show is that she was brought up in an environment where it wasn’t safe for her to just be and to express her softer side. Perhaps, her father wasn’t around or if he was around, he may have abused her.

The outcome of this is that the strong male figure that she needed to protect her and to validate her femininity wouldn’t have been available. Thus, as a way to protect her vulnerability, she would have disconnected from this part of her nature and developed a hard shell in the process.

Repetition Compulsion

The trouble is that as she is still carrying all this pain within her, she will most likely continue to recreate experiences that will have a lot in common with what took place during her early years. These experiences will validate her belief that it is not safe for her to be vulnerable and to trust others.

It is unlikely to be very fulfilling for her to live life in this way, but this is likely to be what is familiar, and what is familiar is what is classed as what is safe to the ego mind. Her life is only likely to change if she heals her inner wounds.


If a woman can relate to this, and she wants to change her life, she may need to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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